The middle of the year. The month when summer officially begins. My birthday month and the last year in my forties…

I know it is just another year, age doesn’t really bother me that much, but the last year of my forties, just when did that happen??

When I eventually move into my fifties next year, I know it will just be another birthday, I know trumpets will not sound, but it will feel like a shift, this I know. I look in the mirror these days and I know I am looking older. I want to see the skin of my twenties, tight, plump, but alas this is no longer what looks back at me. I don’t consider myself vain, but my heart sinks just a tiny little bit.

I hate to say it, but I get tired more quickly too. I am busy, but 20 years ago I could be this busy {more actually} and it wouldn’t bother me a jot! And I know, between then and now there has been a lot, a child, illness, death and oh so many good times {laugh lines to prove that!) so how could I {we} ever look the way I {we} did?

I know this post sounds melancholy, but that isn’t my intention. I actually intend, next year {every year} to celebrate life {being alive} with all its guts and glory. It’s thrown some shit at me, but I am still here, breathing and with so very much to be grateful for.

So, as I move into the last year of my forties, I salute you, I salute myself, I salute life because I am here living it when so many aren’t.

Happy June!

5 Replies to “June”

  1. Jane, I know just how you are feeling! And you’re right, it’s not melancholy at all but rather an adjustment to what is, an acceptance. Isn’t it funny how we first fight against the lessening of energy, how we still try to do everything we always were able to do in the course of a day when we were in our 20s? I am constantly reminding myself to be kind to myself, to allow myself to slow down and rest when my body says rest.

    What a lovely month to have your birthday in! Have a wonderful weekend, my dear friend! xoxo

  2. Grace, I am so happy to know that someone {you} understands what I am saying. I just feel a real shift in life at the moment. The thought of being 50 doesn’t bother me, it’s just adjusting to a different way of being. Thank you for being here and for your friendship. Love to you and wishing you a beautiful weekend xxxx

  3. just think next year you will be the youngest in the fifties set as opposed to being the oldest in the forties set…I am amazed at how I get tired but then that doesn’t stop me if I get a little rest tucked in.

    1. You are absolutely right, Karen! That is such a great way to look at it ❤️ It doesn’t stop me, but I do nod off on the sofa some evenings. Have a lovely weekend and thanks for your friendship xx

  4. (Very very belated Happy Birthday Jane) and thank you so much for articulating your feelings/anxieties so well. It’s actually really good for me to know that you’re feeling okay about the birthday adjustment. Hope you’re enjoying the summer. xx

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